MERGERS AND AQUISITIONS FEVER HITS WESTMINSTER

(from City correspondent Peter Pigeon)

The M&A fever that took the FTSE-100 index above 6000 last week is about to spread to Westminster. Rumours are circulating that private equity groups have built up significant stakes in both the Conservative and Labour Parties.

Now insiders suggest that these groups will seek to realise their investments (provided in the form of secret loans) and take control of the boards of each Party. They then propose to push through a merger.

City Analyst Vince Cable has told the BBC that Labour is suffering from negative equity - with assets of just nine million, and debts of more than eleven million.

The private equity groups are being advised by prominent City bankers Levy and Marland. Sources here told the SunGod "A deal like this makes good commercial sense. The two businesses have substantially the same objectives and there is massive overlap in their business operations. The merged company could realise significant synergies. Essentially we are looking at scrapping one London Headquarters and up to 600 high street branches."